Nostalgia and Other Symptoms of Retirement
In 1688, nostalgia became a medical diagnosis. Three centuries later, it has been downgraded to a feeling and the opening line of roughly every second conversation after the age of sixty.
A Selfie on Kilimanjaro
In 2007, a film about two terminally ill men compiling a list of things to do before they died turned "bucket list" into a permanent fixture of the language. Nearly two decades on, the phrase has drifted from its original context. It's worth asking what's driving the impulse.
The Long and Winding Road
There is a roundabout on the way home where, on certain evenings, a man turns left instead of right. Nobody knows he has done it, and he is neither lost nor avoiding anyone. He is doing something sensible, and this article is an attempt to explain what.
Golden Handcuffs: or why you can't simply ruin your life in peace
A man in his late forties, financially comfortable, professionally competent, and quietly miserable, announces at the kitchen table that he's thinking about leaving it all behind for something that matters more to him. His partner does not respond the way he was hoping.
Why Proper Fans Never Check the Forecast
Somewhere in the United Kingdom this Saturday, thousands of people are standing on an open terrace watching a team that has won one of its last eleven matches. It is ten degrees. It is raining sideways. But the forecast was never going to change the plan.
The Benefits of Building Badly
Somewhere in the garage sits the physical evidence of an ambition that exceeded a skill set. A shelf with a visible lean. A birdhouse that no self-respecting bird has ever gone near. Far from being embarrassments, they are quietly doing you quite a lot of good.
Caring for Your Parents: Congratulations on Role Reversal
It typically starts with a phone call: "Dad's had another fall." And somewhere in the weeks that follow, the relationship quietly changes shape. The son becomes the parent. It's the job you never applied for, but it's yours.
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
When I was a boy, my hair was thick and luxuriant. I thought nothing of it. Then one day a hairdresser said that he could see signs that I was on the road to hair loss. Whether that was insight or a good guess, I'll never know. But he was right.
Problem-Solving Therapy: Because Sitting There Looking Worried Hasn't Worked
Most men in genuine difficulty are not short of concern. They have concern in abundance. What they're short of is a structure for turning that concern into something that works. Problem-Solving Therapy exists to supply exactly that.
Rumination: Why Your Brain Is Like a Dog With a Stick
It doesn't matter that the stick has been fetched forty times already. Your dog will find it, present it, and want to do it all again. Your brain, at three in the morning, is doing the same thing with the conversation you had with your boss. The difference? The dog has more fun.
Burnout: or how to know you're running on fumes
You're sitting in the car with the engine switched off. You're not on the phone or listening to music, or even wondering whether you remembered to buy milk. You're just sitting there. You probably don't know why. But that tiny stretch of time in the car is where this article begins.
Jealousy, Insecurity and the Male Ego at 40+
Jealousy is often assumed to be a teenage affliction that everyone grows out of. That, or evidence of a rather pathetic character flaw in the adult who still has it. Neither of these is quite right. Jealousy in midlife men is common, and interesting psychologically - as we're about to explore.